Exploring phagnan, monkey, elephant, micro pigs and the massage bed of pain
18.12.2013 - 19.12.2013
Waterfalls and mopeds. Brad, our two friends and I rented some mopeds for a couple of days to explore the island. We started off really really slow but by the end we were racing around. The terrain was not always smooth, especially on the first day where we came to this dirt slope which we had to go down to get back onto the road. Brad went first, dragging his bike down and slipping all over the place, then Keith and then me with Brads help. It was a nightmare and took about twenty minutes and lots of energy. We got the bikes all the way down through this really rough, slippery, rocky terrain, then James got on his bike and it just fell over. His face was priceless! I just remember his little voice going 'oh sorry sorry oh no I hope it's not scratched', but then he didn't even pick it up!
We drove past emus and captive elephants on the way to the beach which was beautiful . It was quite big, and had massage huts sitting in the middle which we took full advantage of. First though, James and I tried a bit of snorkelling. The sea was really rough and we couldn't see a thing. We opted for just a swim instead. After that, we went for lunch all together at a little beach restaurant with this waiter who kept imitating my voice and laughing at me. Really strange but funny. After that we all swam over to the little island off the beach. When he tide is low, you can walk over this little sand bank to get to the island but the tide was high so we waded and then swam. We got a few little jellyfish stings I think just from stray tentacles, then made it onto the island where we explored for a little bit before heading back for our massages. If you ever watch someone get a Thai massage you will see it is comedy gold! I just went for oil even though it was more expensive because I know what a Thai massage is, but poor James got bent up likes a pretzel. The woman was grabbing his feet and stretching him out and I could hear him in loads of pain while this big Thai lady was on top of him, slapping and laughing away. At one point, (and I will remember this until my dying day) I looked over and it looked like James was riding her backwards! She had his arms linked with hers, and she'd leaned forward into a crawling position, so he was trapped backwards on her, looking round all wide eyed and scared. Oh my god it makes me laugh picturing it now, he was so scared and I couldn't stop laughing. Mine was a bit better but still she beat me up a tad as is customary. They try to relax you then beat you as part of a massage here.if you say something hurts they just nod, laugh and carry on! my woman did something good for my legs though where she leaned on the main artery for about a minute, then let go and it felt like warm water running through my legs. That was quite strange but good. Once the sun went down, we hit the night market for some food. Mine came with a load of bits of chicken in so I barely ate but we had some beer and drove back to the hotel.
The next morning the five of us set off to see some waterfalls. The first wasn't amazing, sort of just one to look at but the second was great. It had a pool at the bottom so we swam in that icy water which was refreshing after riding in the sun, and we all had a few goes on the rope swings. It was a really quiet place which we had to ourselves most of the time so it was well worth the visit. We found the third one after a ten minute walk up through the water and rocks. Again it was very pretty but we weren't up for getting all wet again by swimming in there. I made a little boat on the way back from half a coconut, a stick and a leaf sail. I would have a picture but Brad threw a rock on it and ruined it. I wasn't happy.
Monkeys on a chain and two micro pigs, a chicken and a dog.
From there we decided to go to this secluded beach, which resulted in us riding through a giant building site with a CAT digger dumping rubble right in the road. We had to go up these huge hills and dirt tracks in our little mopeds which was a challenge to say in the least but we got there in the end. By this point it was a bit cold but being British we went for ice creams on the beach on some hotel's sun loungers. I had Brad's hoodie on, and we went for a walk together down the beach. Within the first ten feet Brad found a syringe but after that it was quite romantic and actually really beautiful. We all then went up for a coffee where we met this nice waitress who made us promise to wear helmets and not go too fast incase we have an accident. She was really sweet and does a good coffee.
On the way back I spotted two tiny pigs out of he corner of my eye and couldn't resist stopping. This woman had two micro pigs on leads outside her shop, which she let me pat and stroke. To add to her collection she also had a dog and several chickens, and last but not least a monkey on a chain! A very short chain I might add and the monkey was pacing up and down. I asked when he comes off the lead and she said never so that seemed cruel. I don't understand why anyone would want a pet that they can't touch, never let out and is miserable to look at. I left that weird corner shop zoo and got on my way. Not far down the road, some boys overtook me as I was going around a parked car on a corner so I had to slam on my brakes and nearly crashed. I didn't care that the others were further behind- I sped up and chased the little fuckers. I was fuming because these idiots were driving round thinking they're bad, with no t shirts and no helmets on, clearly thinking they look like vin diesel. I caught up with them in the end but there wasn't anywhere to stop so I just shouted the first thing that came to mind which was "learn to drive and put a t shirt in you knobend". Now I know that wasn't very classy and it wasn't my best look in my little silver helmet shaking my fist like an old woman but that's about as vengeful as I get and to be fair they did look a bit shocked so ha!
We all sat around together back at the hostel where Brad and I shared some smuggled 'Hong thong' and a can of coke whilst watching the sun set, and the others had some cocktails. The sky was lit up pink and purple, and the water underneath looked like it has a layer of petrol on top. It looked like the sky was dipping its toes in the water and dripping colour in. Once the sun was down, the boys played volleyball while I got ready for our little date night.
Once I was ready, I sat with the boys and waited for Brad, we all had a drink together and then went for some couple time at cosmopolitan restaurant. We got some serious garlic breath there from the falafels and fajitas which were amazing! And downloaded beauty school cops outs. And they say romance is dead